28 March 2010

Vicious Traditions

IIII ) llllllll Ectopic Pregnancy (25Mar10)

0539 Emergency Room

0731 Mahoney is trying to set a new record for the number of needles and hospital bracelets one person can get in a 24hr period. I'm working her corner, holding the spit bucket

0835 Starting into hour four in the ER and still have no idea when we'll be moving along or what's wrong

0934 Hour five and I'm alone in the room, staring at the biohazard symbol, waiting for the lady to return from the latest test

1005 Geez... my poor Sweetie. We're having a very unexpected day

1042 Sixth hour, unexpected diagnosis, needle number eight

1139 Seventh hour, Mahoney's falling asleep, I'm eavesdropping on the doc-talk going on outside our door, and might as well stop counting, we're not likely to go home any time soon

1232 Wicked mind-twist as we enter hour eight of day one. What we didn't think was possible turned out to actually be possible, and yet still impossible at the same time. Cruel in a way, but Mahoney's going to be okay. Just going to have to do a night here. I don't know why all the medical stuff has to hit her, my poor Sweetie

1435 Off she goes into the operating room... I'm gonna go outside and cry now

1742 Everything with the operation went fine. Mahoney's in her room now and way more with-it than I'd suspect her to be, considering she was just under and there's a nurse shooting morphine in her "cheek" right now

1909 Good to catch a couple winks in my chair beside Mahoney. What a crazy day

2057 I'm going to try to spend the night in this chair, see if the nurses attempt to boot me out

2145 Hahaa... the nurses are stunned. We didn't have to pay their fee to watch t.v. on the tiny little box they provide. I brought Mahoney's wide-screen MacBook from home, she tethered to her phone, and now we're watching this week's Survivor in nice resolution for free

2157 They gave her a choice for the next dose of pain meds - morphine injection for option A, rectal suppository of something we've never heard of for option B. Which do you think she chose?

IIII ) lllllllll Vicious Traditions (26Mar10)

0747 Wow, extremely peaceful sleep in my little pull-out chair bed beside the hospital room window. Maybe they'll keep us another night?

0825 Took Mahoney on a little walk, and now I'm heading home to shower and change clothes. Dr. Hardin stopped in to visit, and she had the quote of the morning, "Well, you've been bitching for years about how you can't get pregnant, so..."

0957 Came home, changed our bedding, threw some clothes in the wash, had a shower, smudged ksisskstaki amopistaan, speaking to Mahoney's swift recovery and our gratitude for all the good wishes and visits our friends shared yesterday. Now I'm headed out to stop briefly at Sspopiikimi, leaving berry soup as an offering in the water before returning to the hospital

1358 I'm sorry, little spirit, that we don't get to meet, that we didn't know you were with us. I hope you enjoyed your travels, further than most who've walked

1637 Mahoney's fallen asleep, it will be another night in the hospital for us. I'm on my way to reflect for a bit at the best pool I know, Sspopiikimi

1706 Four sleeps we've been absent from the pond. Three by way of a busy work schedule, one by an unexpected intervention of both life and death. And what I find again here by the water is the same message it's impressed us with year after year. Things are always changing, while they're also still the same

1715 The midpond mallard couple are still around, and I suspect the aapsspini are off feeding, because that's what the lodge and south-pond pairs are doing. The goldeneye couple has come whistle-winging overhead, first in one direction, then the other. There are a couple magpies foraging in the wet meadow, and a robin picking from the mud on the beaver lodge. But I hear new voices too, some familiar, like the ring-billed gull, others I don't know. I'm not about to go chasing to find out who the new-comers are. Not tonight. I'm just going to sit here across from the ksisskstakioyis and see what unfolds

1727 The first big event that plays out in my presence this evening is a major brawl involving both the south-pond and lodge geese, as well as one member of the midpond couple. It's difficult to say what happened, the fight started on the golf course and came splashing down in front of me. One of the ganders was absolutely brutal, pinning his opponent underwater and biting his head any time it surfaced. I don't know if the lodge goose's husband was the thrasher or the thrashed, in this case, but he was one of them. And while the fight was on, the lodge goose went right to the edge of their territorial shore and positioned herself absolutely prone on top of the water. Somehow the gander or goose beneath broke free and scampered up the cutbank, pursued by the other gander, and meeting another two angry geese when he got up to the top. By this time it was out of my sight, I could only hear the chase. Eventually, however, the lodge gander came stalking back down the slope with his neck lowered, entered the water, took a drink and swam back to his goose. It's difficult to say whether this was a fight, or the rape of another gander's wife

1802 A little muskrat has just come out of the ksisskstakioyis, and I suspect the beaver family won't be far behind. For a while after the goose event, the lodge and south-pond couples stayed near shore in their respective territories - the former beside the ksisskstakioyis, the latter at the entrance of the subpond canal. They preened and drank. Then the lodge couple began paddling south, giving double grunts. This sound was returned by grunts from the south-pond couple. When the lodge pair got too near, the others began honking and swam further south, into the wide pool at the extreme end of the pond. The lodge couple, for their part, continued until they reached the canal, then swam across the pond to the cutbank, where they climbed up to eat

1823 All is quiet as the shadow of dusk draws across the pond. The magpies definitely have something going on in the big bulberry brush of the wet meadow. There's a plant, uprooted, drifting just out of reach in front of me. It looks like either nebraska sedge or bur-reed. Likely it's beaver food, but I'm curious to see if one of them will come collect it

1846 The lodge couple has returned, preening on their shoreline. There's no wind tonight, so the water is perfectly calm, the only movement the small ripples produced by diving beetles in their rise and fall

1911 The first ksisskstaki emerged without notice, swimming straight across the pond underwater, then north quite a ways before climbing part-way up the cutbank. From this distance, I can only assume it's feeding on the only fresh greens in that area, the absinthe

1922 Two more beavers follow the first, one after the other. The first moves across the pond to the south of me, slaps his tail twice and then swims away along the bank. The second paddles calmly out toward the entrance to the subpond canal, disappearing into a bulrush thickets where I can now hear the familiar crunch of a root dinner

1926 Now a fourth beaver has moved out of the lodge. This one comes straight to me, until within about three meters, then turns and moves toward the crunching sound of its family member feasting in the bulrush

1938 I feel like I've done what I came out to do - turn my thoughts toward something positive, check in with the geese, and greet the beavers at the start of their night round. It's time for me to return to Mahoney

2159 Back in the hospital for the night with Mahoney. About to settle down, plug in a movie and eat my lunchable dinner

0046 Had our quota of sadness for the day, settling down for some Zzzzs in my chair-bed beside the window. Last sleep in the maternity ward, tomorrow we should go home

IIII ) llllllllll Clarity (27Mar10)

0629 Oww... that chair just made me stiff and sore this time around, and early morning commotion in the neighbor's bed woke me right up. Guess I'm making a Starbuck's run

0652 After seeing how these smart medical doctors run their operation, I'm thinking pajamas might not be a bad uniform for the Kainai Studies office. Maybe even take it up a notch and go for house coats

0844 Caught another quick wink before Dr Cowboy came in to announce that it's get the hell out of hospital day. I was dreaming that we packed our pipe to give a smoke to a man who was very surprised that we had naawahko'tsis. So we'll take care of that when we get home. But anyway, the lady has asked for no visitors today, so don't even try it. Give her a day or two to revitalize first

1224 It's so good to be home and finished with the hospitalization aspect of this ordeal. Still a lot of healing to do, physical or otherwise. Aunty Gumby is officially off limits to ewoks and munchkins for the next couple weeks, and I get to be chef (which means I better get down to the Asian Market to pick up my principal ingredient). They said it'll be six weeks before she can wrestle again, so I better keep her happy until then

1738 Just bought a week's worth of groceries for the price of one Parisian meal. Going to cook my Mahoney a steak dinner

2142 Tried to take a night walk at the pond, brought our pipe along in response to this morning's dream, but got blocked by the city's curfew on park access. We'll have to try again in the morning. Sucks... drunks can stay out at the bars until the wee hours, but people who just want to go down to make an offering at the water aren't allowed, and it's obviously to block late-night abuses by the drunks. Underlying value: drinking is to be condoned at all possible expense

2334 As we approach the fourth day, not coincidentally the day before our anniversary, whispers from the little spirit bring massive clarity. Thirteen years of experience - dreams, hardships, stories, travels, and transfers - are all being woven together to form a single, meaningful gestalt, offering purpose to replace the sadness